I was asked to share my story on a Facebook weight loss support group. I was honored and scared at the same time! But, I thought "Why the hell not?"
Why not share it with the WHOLE damn world?! So here you go. *VULNERABLE*
Let's see, I am Katie. I live in Idaho. I am married to a big kid (1 year on 3/12), have 2 girls of my own and a step-son. 10,11 and 13. Eek! I turned the BIG 3-5 in December and boy, was that a wakeup call! I also run my own business, go to school full time and home school my two girls. Not to mention, tackling 3 dogs, a house and all our finances. I know, sounds like most of the world’s population. But I promise I am going somewhere with this LOL
I have struggled for many, many years with my health and weight. I have tried it all. And by "all" I mean IT ALL! I remember I started my first diet at age 15, because a kid at school called me a "fat rollie pollie". I was 125lbs then. The nerve. I can only imagine how 15-year-old me would handle junior high and high school these days.
Once I graduated high school, I married, had children and became very unhappy (due to unhappiness in my marriage) --I gained A LOT of weight. I reached my highest weight of 247lbs in 2005. My ex and I separated and I immediately found myself in another unhealthy relationship, I know now was purely out of desperation and loneliness. I was sad and miserable and kept the weight on. This man told me that no one would want me and only he would love me the way I was...One day, I woke up and realized I deserved better for myself and my children. I started eating smaller portions and being more active. I lost 60lbs between 2008 and 2010. Slow and steady, but continuously fluctuating 10-15lbs. In 2011, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. This is where my world turned upside down. I slowly gained more and more weight…again.
In June 2014, my husband (not the first bro) and I got back together after a year broken up. We decided it was time to grow-up and be adults. He has always loved me for who I was. Big. Small. Dorky. He doesn’t care
In March 2015, we spontaneously got married at the courthouse, after a major tequila binge after we both lost our vehicles and money was tighter than tight. A month later, my husband got insurance and we started our plan!
I went to a Bariatric surgeon, began to see a nutritionist and started the LooooOonnnGggg drawn out process of having Gastric Bypass surgery. Now, don’t think “Oh jeez, this lady thinks that’s the way out!” Because that is a HUGE misconception.
For 7 months, I was poked and prodded and my diet/exercise/mental stability, EVERYTHING was out there for everyone in the medical field to critique. It was freakin HARD! May 2015-my highest weight EVER was 257lbs. I had to have emergency gall bladder surgery. I suffered from Gastroparesis, severe GERD, I threw up anything and everything I put in my stomach and if I didn’t eat every 3 hours, I was sick again and joint pain. I also felt like just complete crap!
In June, I thought I was lost and alone, I tried to commit suicide. It’s terrible. It’s unthinkable. It’s who I was in that moment. I was nothing to myself or my family. I mean, I went and had a psych eval and he said I was “good-to-go”. Little did he know, I had a step-son at home with special needs, whose mother abandoned him and I got to face the repercussions of that. He stole from me, was violent at school and to his sisters. He also ran away and being sick, I couldn’t save him from himself. It still breaks my heart. :( frown emoticon
In July, my husband threatened to leave me and I pulled my head out of my ass and remembered who I am!
Skip ahead to January! January 20th, 2016-I checked into the hospital and I had Gastric Bypass/RNY surgery. NOW- I always had it in my head that I will NOT use this surgery as an easy way out. Only as a tool.
It’s been 3 weeks. Yes, 3 weeks. And I have lost 25lbs. I am 217lbs… I can’t remember a day where I was ever 217lbs. I don’t remember a day that I was under 230lbs. It hasn’t been easy at all. You think getting 64oz of water in a day is pretty easy? Not for me. I have to sip constantly, all day long and if I miss any portion of that 64oz, sick for the whole next day. Hydration friends, that is key to everything! Hydration and movement!
In the last 3 weeks, I have cried, screamed, yelled, threw things and regretted my surgery. Only because I can’t eat all those terrible things that we people LOVE. The first week I was home, I took a bite of pizza, ate ½ a cup of orange chicken (because it was soft-BS!) and wished I never touched them immediately.
I am in a good place now. It’s still hard. But, it’s good-hard. I know it will all be worth it and I know I will reach my goals. That’s what this journey has been all about.
So, if you have read this and are still with me LOL, just know… You aren’t alone. It’s hard for everyone, no matter what life you lead and what journey you are on. My goal in sharing my story, is to help motivate, encourage or just be there to help at least one person.
Thank you for reading :)
